As always happens, you’ll want to listen to this as I don’t stick to the following as a “script” — except that I really mean in this time. How’s that for keeping it real? Just listen.
Trolling social media, because, well, you know…I can pretend it’s work, right?
And then here comes this heartbreak in a friend’s post (and I’ve changed the words so there’s no possible way the person could be identified here).
I’d love to be anywhere but here. A place where I’m wanted and valued and, dare I say, even encouraged. I can’t help but think there is someplace in the world where I’m not just an empty, hollow shell.
What makes this so shocking? That someone was this transparent in a public way?
Maybe it’s because most of us have been there at one time or another. Some even call loneliness an epidemic. Time Magazine even speculates that it’s the next public health crisis.
To be sure, I am no counselor or psychologist, but I’ll be honest…I think the root cause – and potential solution -- is found in an idea called “worldview.” And it’s not some abstract idea, but something everyone knows at some level.
A worldview is the lens through which we see everything. And the crazy thing is, every person’s got one whether they realize it or not.
Every worldview seeks to answer four or five really big life questions. Questions of origin – where’d all this come from? Queestions of meaning and identity – why am I here, who am I, what’s my purpose? Sure it has to be more than this, right? Questions of morality – what’s right and wrong, and while we’re at it, why is there so much evil and pain and ugliness in the world? Most importantly, how does it get fixed? And questions of destiny – where does all this go?
So where does loneliness fit into this?
I imagine there are many different causes for loneliness – feeling alone or empty or unwanted or purposeles or feeling invisible. And to make things more complicated, those things aren’t just limited to being isolated – it’s possible to feel all that when with others, right?
Interestingly, both science and the Bible agree on something – we are, by very definition, relational beings. We long to know and be known at a deep, deep level.
So where does worldview come in?
The challenge is that most worldviews don’t have the answer. In fact, all but one.
If we’re here simply by time plus matter plus chance, what meaning is there in that? Surely we are more than evolving machines who are simply getting better at procreating. And does that sound like something that demonstrates an intrinsic value of every human being?
I think we all know we’re made for something more. We get little glimpses of it in relationships, in beauty, in the thrill of being genuinely useful and helpful to someone. And in those rare moments that someone knows you and all your junk and loves you – truly, unconditionally loves you – we get a glimpse of what might be.
Except that it doesn’t last.
Because it can’t last.
Unless…
There were a relationship with someone who knew all your junk, maybe even better than you know yourself. A relationship with they love you where you are but show you the way to not stay where you are. A relationship that’s as steady and sure and trustworthy as you could imagine, never wavering, even when you blow it.
This is what we were made for.
By a God who’s perfect love in and of himself, relational in the very nature and charater who he is. In the Christian worldview, this is one God who, in a way that’s hard to even imagine, exists eternally in three persons – Father, Son, and Spirit. Who didn’t need to create us, but wanted us. To know him and enjoy his goodness.
And he created us in his image with one really important ingredient – an ability to choose. Sure, he could have create us to be robots, but love is real when it’s chosen, right? A robot could say and do all the right things, but we still wouldn’t feel love, right? It wouldn’t be real.
So that longing in your heart is because God made you to be in relationship. But there’s some bad news, too.
We didn’t choose God. We chose a lie. Here comes God’s enemy – an angel who chose rebellion – and through Adam and Eve’s poor choice, brokenness enters the world. The Bible calls it sin. We see it all around us…it doesn’t take much to figure out people can be pretty awful sometimes.
But there’s an even more foundational question. Sure, there’s all that evil out there, but what do you do with the evil and brokenness in your own heart?
You see, religiosity is man’s attempt to get back to God. It’s all about doing the right things. And we don’t have to look far to see that ain’t working either, right?
Remember how I said there’s one worldview that’s not like others?
The good news is that the solution, the healing, the relief of loneliness isn’t about what we do. It’s about what God did for you.
I know you’ve heard about Jesus. Somehow in God’s plan he chose to take on human form – still fully God but also fully human – to live a sinless life, die an atoning death, and conquer that death once and for all in the resurrection. It’s the opposite of “do this and get to God.” It’s “God did this for you because, in fact, you can’t fix what’s broken. The question is whether or not you will trust Jesus as your savior and make him Lord of your life instead of yourself.
So where’d we come from? Why are we here? What’s the solution? Where’s it go?
You were made for love…but anything you fix your heart upon in this world is going to change, let you down. But you were made for more…to first know and be known by your Creator. How do we fix the evil in our own hearts and experience the healing that only he can bring? Trust Jesus as your king, tell him you’re sorry for the sin that breaks relationship with him. And he sends the Holy Spirit to fill you. Because Jesus didn’t die to make bad people good, he came to make dead people live. And that soul inside you that longs for that will not only experience new life here and now, but enjoy him forever in heaven.
You are made for more. Loneliness isn’t God’s intent, but it is real. In truth, however, it points to God. It shouts inside us for God, because it’s what we’re made for.
CS Lewis once quipped that just like our physical hunger knows there must be something – food – that satisfies it, so also that longing in our hearts indicates there must be something that satisfies it. For real. At the deepest level.
There’s a passage in the Bible that says this poetically:
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. The LORD redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:18-22, NIV)
His name is Jesus. He loves you. Will you answer the call?
ForTheHope is a daily audio Bible + apologetics podcast and blog. We’ve got a passion for just keepin’ it real, having conversations like normal people, and living out the love of Jesus better every single day.
Roger Courville, CSP is a globally-recognized expert in digitally-extended communication and connection, an award-winning speaker, award-winning author, and a passionately bad guitarist. Follow him on Twitter -- @RogerCourville and @JoinForTheHope – or his blog: www.forthehope.org.
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