You can hide in the shadows at the back of the church for a while, but sooner or later you have to decide whether this is for you or not. (1)
~ N.T. Wright
Social science professor Christena Cleveland notes that in an organization, people feel like they matter when five things are present (and less so when one or more are absent):
“Identification: Feeling that other people will be proud of your accomplishments or saddened by your failures
Attention: Feeling that you command the sincere attention or interest of people in the group
Importance: Believing that another person cares about what you want, think and do, or is concerned about your fate
Appreciation: A feeling of being highly regarded and acknowledged by others
Dependence: Feeling integrated in the community such that your behaviors/actions are based on how others depend on you.” (2)
As casemakers, we can trust that 100% of the people we talk to desire belonging. Ask, “What makes you feel like you belong?” to uncover an entry point for connecting them to Jesus and His church.
Notes
(1) Simply Christian, 2006 (London: SPCK; San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco) Retrieved on December 17, 2018 at http://ntwrightpage.com/2016/04/04/believing-and-belonging/.
The longer quote is worth considering: “Many people today find it difficult to grasp this sense of corporate Christian identity. We have been so soaked in the individualism of modern Western culture that we feel threatened by the idea of our primary identity being that of the family we belong to—especially when the family in question is so large, stretching across space and time. The church isn’t simply a collection of isolated individuals, all following their own pathways of spiritual growth without much reference to one another. It may sometimes look like that, and even feel like that. And it’s gloriously true that each of us is called to respond to God’s call at a personal level. You can hide in the shadows at the back of the church for a while, but sooner or later you have to decide whether this is for you or not.”
(2) Christena Cleveland. Disunity in Christ: Uncovering the Hidden Forces that Keep Us Apart (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 169. Kindle Edition.
I am mixed about this book. I led a small group at church through it, and I wasn’t the only one in my group with mixed feelings. The work is interesting social science and insightfully shared, but there is almost no theological basis given for any its claims (and a couple of those claims are suspect). I do appreciate the intent, but Ms. Cleveland elsewhere appears to be influenced by theology that is misguided. Proceed at your own risk.