I am going to share with you something that, frankly, I’m not very proud of:
There was a time when I desperately, longingly needed someone to like me, and I looked for love in all the wrong places. Sadly, that included trying to find self-worth in my work as a professional speaker, sometimes at the expense of being a dad or, at the time, husband. It also was why I almost didn’t become a Christian. I was afraid of what people might think of me.
And I imagine some of you have wrestled with similar feelings of longing, too.
The good news is that the very rescue mission we celebrate on Christmas Day, was the birth of a great High Priest who knows us better than we know ourselves.
About three decades later this Jesus was having a conversation with some Jewish religious leaders who were giving Him guff. And what He said to them He, in a sense, is what He said to me:
How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? (John 5:44, ESV)
To badly paraphrase, Blaise Pascal, a 17th-century mathematician and theologian, we all have a God-shaped hole inside us. And while it’s not wrong to appreciate being appreciated by others, there’s a longing inside every person that no person besides Jesus can fill.
Here’s the thing: As connectors if we try to have someone besides Jesus meet that longing, doing so will leave you empty and them frustrated, feeling like they can never measure up. It doesn’t matter if it’s a personal relationship or someone you meet in a professional capacity.
But what happens when we do receive Jesus for who He really is? What happens when we put praise from others in its proper place? And this goes for anything else we try to fill ourselves up with, too – money, sex, distraction, stuff.
What happens is that you receive something that you can then give away. The glory that only comes from the only God is Jesus and the new identity you have in and through Him – a glory that follows you having a heart that longs for the peace and redemption that only He can give.
There’s an old adage in the world of sales and marketing: “Anybody can share your facts, but nobody can share your story.” And that kinda applies to us being connectors, too. Whether you want to make a friend or make a sale, when your God-shaped hole is filled with Jesus, you can in turn be something unique to every person you meet.
But we can’t give the gift until we’ve first received it. It’s not until we receive the glory that comes from God, a new self in Christ, that we can give in the one way that others will find most attractive – giving of yourself.
Will everyone accept your bid for connection? No. Not everyone trusts Jesus and receives His gift, either, and He’s the flippin’ God of the universe.
But here’s another saying, and I’m going to challenge you to turn it on its head: “At your absolute best, you still won't be good enough for the wrong person. At your worst, you'll still be worth it to the right person.”
So what if at their worst you were the right person for them?
To take them the gift of hope, you need to receive the gift of hope. And it all starts with an upside-down kingdom ruled by the most unlikely King born in the most ignoble of circumstances – a King whose way of doing things is “Seek Me and My kingdom and the glory I give first, and I’ll take care of you on the backside.”
Like thunder always follows lightning, when we love others His way, it’s because He first loved us.
Roger Courville, CSP is a globally-recognized expert in communications, an award-winning author and speaker, and a passionately bad guitarist. ForTheHope equips on-the-go professionals with biblical principles to engage marketplace relationships with competent humility. On Twitter can follow him @RogerCourville and/or his podcast @JoinForTheHope, or get all updates by email subscription at www.forthehope.org.